


ogres have layers

by kingdra (aroceu)



Series: gender studies [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Nonbinary Character, Oisuga Week, Other, Shrek AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:03:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3301799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/kingdra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa is smelly and wants his swamp back.</p><p>a shrek au</p>
            </blockquote>





	ogres have layers

**Author's Note:**

> I'll have you know that I stared at the "fairy tale/travel" prompt for a good two weeks before I decided, fuck it, I'm writing a Shrek AU

Oikawa lives in a swamp. Usually, he loves his swamp.  
  
Today he does not.  
  
"I'd... kill... Lord Farquad... with my own bare hands," he's muttering as he climbs up the castle. "If I killed people." Or if he ate people, which was a rumor that a lot of villagers had spread. Oikawa doesn't know why because he's not even ugly. He's actually gorgeous, if he said so himself.  
  
He's just tall. And smelly, partially because of the swamp thing.  
  
A dark dragon with great black wings and an orange snout had been guarding the tower before, but Oikawa had distracted it with some of the big old slugs he usually eats. So maybe that's another reason why the villagers are scared of him, too. It's not like Oikawa can be this big without a little ogre blood in him.  
  
Finally, he makes it to the top of the tower. Resting on the only piece of furniture in the room, a bed, is a beautiful, silvery-haired figure.  
  
"Hey!" Oikawa throws a rock from the tower window. "Get up, I'm here to rescue you."  
  
"Ow." The silver haired person sits up. They don't rub their eyes, like they'd been pretending to be asleep. "You're not supposed to wake me up that way."  
  
"I'll wake you up in whatever damn way I want."  
  
Oikawa finally manages to hitch himself up and through the window. "Actually," he says, keeling on the floor and panting. "Give me a second."  
  
The silver-haired person walks over and bends down. They look Oikawa in the eyes.   
  
"You smell interesting," they say.  
  
"Yes, well." Oikawa rights himself and takes off his knight helmet. "That's because I live in a swamp."  
  
"Really. Well, it's nice to meet you. I'm Suga."  
  
Oikawa looks down at Suga's offered hand, and then his own sweaty one. "It's probably best if I don't take that."  
  
"You're supposed to kiss it," Suga says patiently.  
  
Oikawa looks at their hand again. Suga seems to genuinely expect him to kiss it, as sweaty and terrible smelling as Oikawa is.  
  
He pecks the back of Suga's hand with his lips, and then shoots back up, feeling embarrassed. Suga looks pleased.  
  
"C'mon," says Oikawa, not meeting their eyes. "Let's go."  
  
*  
  
As it turns out, Suga's wearing a dress, so it's hard for them to climb down the tower. Suga's also a priss, and they make Oikawa carry them down.  
  
"I'm not as strong as I look," Oikawa grumbles as he clutches on the rocks, dangling precariously.  
  
Suga comments, "You didn't look very strong in the first place."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
He manages them down eventually. Suga hops off Oikawa's back delicately, while Oikawa wipes away the dirt and grime on his face.  
  
"So," says Suga. "Where is your noble steed?"  
  
Oikawa blinks.  
  
"What noble steed?"  
  
"You're a knight, aren't you?" Suga asks. They're still holding Oikawa's helmet from before. "You must've come here by some sort of horse! A majestic black stallion! A beautiful white steed!"  
  
"Man, I wish," says Oikawa, straightening up from wiping off his calves. His hands are dirty. He wipes them on his shirt. "A horse would've made this way quicker. I'm just a guy who lives in a swamp."  
  
Suga frowns. "Then why have you come to rescue me?"  
  
"You're gonna come marry this dude so he'll get a bunch of magical creatures out of my swamp."  
  
Suga's frown deepens.  
  
"What?"  
  
*  
  
Suga makes him walk all afternoon, even though Oikawa's feet are killing him and he feels dirtier than usual. A bath doesn't ever get rid of the smell - Oikawa tried, many years ago - but at least it'd get rid of the dirt all over his body. Oh, and the scorch marks from when the giant bird had attacked him.  
  
Suga says, "What's a man like you doing rescuing me?"  
  
"Luck and ogre blood." Oikawa trudges through the grass. He would go faster, if Suga didn't complain about their feet killing  _them_ , and demanding that Oikawa carry them on his back. Oikawa doesn't even know why he keeps listening to them.  
  
Suga hums in interest. "Ogre blood?"  
  
"You can smell me, can't you?"  
  
"I suppose," Suga agrees.  
  
Oikawa walks and walks until the sun starts drifting down in the sky. It's near the horizon when Suga commands, "Stop," and Oikawa has no choice but to listen to them.  
  
He collapses, letting Suga go and spreading out on the grass.  
  
"Thank you," Suga says graciously, landing on their feet.  
  
Oikawa opens his eyes and notices a small cave with a door nearby. "Is this where we're staying tonight?" he asks.  
  
"This is where I'm staying tonight," Suga corrects. "I'll be turning in early for the day. Goodnight."  
  
They curtsy with the skirt of their dress, which stuns Oikawa for a second. The next moment, Suga's slammed the door to the cave closed and Oikawa's alone in the field.  
  
Oikawa exhales and falls asleep almost immediately.  
  
*  
  
He wakes up to the smell of food and the sound of fizzling. Oikawa pries his eyes open and rolls over.  
  
To the side, Suga has started a fire and is frying some food. They smile when they notice Oikawa.  
  
"We've got a long day ahead of us," Suga says, and Oikawa groans.  
  
But they get interrupted in the middle of breakfast when a bunch of men from a neighboring village try to steal Suga away. Probably, Oikawa would figure, because Suga has quite the flattering appearance and anyone would want to wed them.   
  
Suga cowers behind and says to Oikawa, "Make them go away with your stench!" Oikawa scoffs; but Suga's so fragile and quite literally cowering behind his frame, so Oikawa does.  
  
When they're gone, Suga straightens themselves upright, smiles, and says, "Thanks!" They have a beauty mark by their left eye. Oikawa is distracted by it for a moment.  
  
"Right - yes," he says. "It's no problem."  
  
"You stomp around like you're angry all the time," say Suga. "But I bet deep down inside, you're a big old softy."  
  
"I am  _not_  a big old softy," Oikawa huffs.  
  
Suga stares at him for a moment, and then jabs Oikawa's side. Oikawa shouts out, somewhere between a cry and a laugh.  
  
"Everyone is," Suga says cheerfully. "I'll get you to admit it eventually."  
  
*  
  
As usual, they trek through the fields and woods together, and when Suga's feet get tired, they jump on Oikawa's back without any warning. They're still trying to convince Oikawa that there's something  _soft_  about him. Oikawa continues to deny it.  
  
"I am  _not_ ," he says, "like an egg."  
  
"An egg?" Suga blinks.  
  
"Hard on the outside, soft on the inside?" When Suga continues to look confused, Oikawa gives up on the metaphor. "Whatever. I'm like an onion."  
  
"You make people cry with your smell?"  
  
" _No_ ," says Oikawa immediately, then frowns. Suga's smiling. "Well, yes. But also. I have layers."  
  
"Layers," Suga repeats.   
  
"Yes," Oikawa says seriously. "When you peel off the outer layer, what do you see under it? The same thing. And after that, the same thing under that. And the same thing under that."  
  
"And the same thing under that," says Suga.  
  
"Precisely," says Oikawa. "My insides are not softer than the outside. In fact, they may get worse." He frowns. "With smell, I mean. And taste strength."  
  
Suga inhales deeply. "Only someone like you would compare yourself to an onion," they say, and Oikawa has every reason to drop them and stalk off. He doesn't, though.  
  
*  
  
Suga makes Oikawa walk until they find another place to stay in again. This time it's a small hardwood house that Suga doesn't let Oikawa even peek into.  
  
Oikawa gets it. Like, he smells and it'd be difficult sharing a sleeping space with him. But Suga had been pretty conversational with him all day, laughing at Oikawa's jokes and even the things that weren't funny. Also, they'd gone to look for an onion for Oikawa after their conversation and Oikawa had said that he was starting to crave onions.  
  
They hadn't found any onions. But they'd had a nice lunch of blueberries and snake, which Suga somehow convinced Oikawa to try for the first time. Oikawa preferred slugs over the snake, but didn't mention that to Suga.  
  
The next couple of days go along similarly. In fact, Oikawa becomes more fond of Suga as the hours pass.  
  
"Maybe one day you can teach me how to use body odor as a weapon," Suga says, and Oikawa rolls his eyes.  
  
"Don't joke with me," he says.  
  
Suga laughs as if Oikawa had been the one joking. Oikawa asks, "How aren't you affected by it? I mean, anyone else who's been living on my back for this long would've passed out by now."  
  
Suga hums to themselves. "I don't know. Maybe I've just gotten used to it."  
  
"You don't get  _used_  to me," says Oikawa.  
  
"I beg to differ," Suga says, poking Oikawa's cheek. "You like to pretend you're unapproachable but grumpy, but I've enjoyed having you around so far."  
  
Oikawa can feel his neck blushing. He can feel it real-time, soaking up his skin.   
  
He tries to ignore it and says, "Don't try to get to me by saying things like that."  
  
"I'm not trying to get to you," says Suga. "You're just not used to getting compliments."  
  
Oikawa doesn't say anything to this.  
  
*  
  
They're nearing Lord Farquad's castle when Suga demands that they stop for the night. "Why?" Oikawa asks, and points into the distance. "It's right there! We'll reach it by nightfall."  
  
"I don't want to get there by nightfall." Suga won't meet his eyes. "I, er. I want to make sure I get ready."  
  
"Then we can stop for a bit and you can get yourself ready."  
  
"No!" Suga says it so sharply that Oikawa has to stop. "We're stopping for the day. Goodnight."  
  
They jump off Oikawa's back and immediately run into a canopy of leaves. The sun is setting behind the hills. Oikawa stares at the leaves Suga had disappeared into, and furrows his eyebrows.  
  
Then he does what he hadn't done before. He follows Suga.  
  
Suga's hidden in the darkest corners of the makeshift walls, as if they're trying to stay as far away from the entrance as possible. Suga starts when Oikawa's feet crunches on the leaves, and shouts, "Stay away!"  
  
"Why?" Oikawa asks.  
  
Suga's voice is watery. "Don't come any closer. You won't like it."  
  
"What do you mean I won't like it?"  
  
Oikawa walks all the way over that Suga's backed up into the brambles and leaves. He looks at their shadowed face, silvery hair and innocent eyes still visible in the dusk light. Something brief passes under his nose, but Oikawa ignores it.  
  
Suga's lips are tight. "Can't you smell it?"  
  
"Smell what?"  
  
Suga quivers. Oikawa wants to hold them and tell them it's alright, but he's supposed to be taking Suga to be wed to Lord Farquad. That wouldn't do.  
  
Suga casts their eyes down, like they're ashamed of themselves. "I was cursed when I was little. When the sun sets, I'm swarmed with a disgusting odor. It doesn't go away until the sun rises again."  
  
"Oh." Oikawa blinks. "So?"  
  
"'So?' Who would love me like this?" Suga sniffles.   
  
"You've smelled me, though," says Oikawa. He tries not to bite his lip. "You said you'd gotten used to it."  
  
"Yeah, but that's - you." Suga sniffs again. "It works with you. People would like you with it."  
  
Oikawa laughs, "Nobody's liked me for my smell."  
  
"Oh." Suga falters, and looks at Oikawa. There's something new in their expression that Oikawa hadn't noticed before.   
  
Then Suga's saying, "I like you with your smell."  
  
"See?" Oikawa sticks his hand out, and helps Suga up. "And I like you with your smell, too." He takes large whiff. Suga's the worst thing he's ever smelled in his life now that Oikawa pays attention, and he loves it. "This isn't something you should try to hide."  
  
"Is it?" says Suga.  
  
"If this is what you're marrying Lord Farquad for," Oikawa says, "then it's not worth it." And then, with flutters in his chest, Oikawa adds, "You can come with me in my swamp. If you want."  
  
Suga smiles. Their hands are still together, and they tighten their grip.   
  
"I'd like that," Suga says.  
  
*  
  
The next morning, when they're back in Oikawa's bed in his swamp, Suga's wonderful smell, which combined with Oikawa's yesterday had scared all the magical creatures off, has disappeared. Suga wakes up, too.  
  
"You know," says Suga, smiling at him sleepily. "If you kiss me when the sun's still up, the curse'll be broken and I'll smell like this during the day, too."  
  
"If I kiss you right now?" Oikawa says, and Suga nods.  
  
So Oikawa does.

**Author's Note:**

> and suga sends the crow-dragon to go eat lord farquad the end


End file.
